Pregnancy & Infant Loss
To lose a child too soon is a tradgedy that is hard to describe or fully imagine. The grief and pain that accompany pregnancy and early child loss is indeed a cross to bear. If you or someone you know has gone through this kind of loss, our hearts go out to you. This page includes resources for you on your journey.
To receive one of the below parent handbooks and a gift package from our office, please reach out to us at nfp@syrdio.org.
Psalm 139: 13-18
You formed my inmost being;
you knit me in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, because I am wonderfully made;
wonderful are your works!
My very self you know.
My bones are not hidden from you,
When I was being made in secret,
fashioned in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw me unformed;
in your book all are written down;
my days were shaped,
before one came to be.
How precious to me are your designs,
O God; how vast the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the sands;
when I complete them, still you are with me.
Helpful tips from mamas who have been there:
- Reach out to friends/familiy as grieving in silent isolation is hard; journal or blog your story
- Name your child(ren) – it helps validate their existance and your parenthood
- Talk about your child(ren) by name – even include them in the number of kids you have when people ask
- Memorialize your child(ren) – especially with items or images in your home or in family pictures – candles, statues, flowers, pictures, mementos, wall signs/art can be used; other ideas are below
- Decide on a time to celebrate and honor your child(ren)’s life, no matter how brief it was (birthday, due date, day of death, etc.)
- Be patient with yourself as you and your spouse grieve – know it will look different
- Pray, pray, pray; read a healing devotional like Restoring Love from Red Bird Ministries
- Be aware of what might trigger a flood of emotions – conversations with others, holidays, family gatherings, celebrations, etc.
- Know you did your job as a parent – you got your child to heaven!
Red Bird Ministries
Red Bird Ministries serves ordinary families who have been given an extraordinary cross to carry. They are a Catholic organization that supports and guides individuals and couples through the complexity of grief and trauma that happens with the loss of a child from pregnancy through adulthood.
Visit www.redbird.love for 1:1 support, grief support workshops and support groups, a 33 day devotional called Restoring Love, an online community, and more!
Catholic Counselors
Catholic Counselors offers tele-counseling for individuals and couples. Their website also includes relationship check-up quizzes, podcasts, blogs, books, videos, and more.
Other Helpful Resources and Support
Websites/Ministries
Books
- Restoring Love: A Couples 33-Day Guide for Healing and Restoration after Child Loss by Ryan and Kelly Breaux
- Blessed Is The Fruit of Thy Womb: Rosary Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss by Heidi Indahl
- Support During and After Miscarriage: A Catholic Woman’s Companion to Healing and Hope by Karen Edmisten
- Nursery of Heaven: Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss In the Lives of the Saints and Today’s Parents by Patrick O’Hearn
- A Catholic Mother’s Companion to Pregnancy, Walking with Mary from Conception to Baptism by Sarah Reinhard
- Life-Giving Love: Embracing God’s Beautiful Design for Marriage by Kimberly Hahn
Memorial Opportunities
- Unborn Book of Remembrance at the Church of the Holy Innocents Shrine (NYC)
- The National Shrine of The Divine Mercy in Stockbridge, MA has a Shrine of the Holy Innocents where you can memorialize a child.
- Molly Bears will make you a free teddy bear the weight of your child
- Ways to Remember Your Child(ren)
Heavenly Intercessors
- St. Catherine of Siena – patron saint of miscarriages
- St. Joseph – patron saint of the unborn
- St. Gerard Majella – patron saint of expectant mothers, women in childbirth, and motherhood
- St. Gianna Beretta Molla – patron saint of mothers, physicians, and unborn children
- St. Rita of Cascia – patron saint of impossible cases, difficult marriages, and parenthood
- Mother Teresa of Calcutta – special intercessor for difficulty getting pregnant
- St. Colette of Corbie – patron saint of still-birth and conceiving
- St. Bridgit of Kildare – patron saint of babies & midwives
- Our Lady of Sorrows – title of our Blessed Mother; ocuses on her intense suffering and grief during the life, passion and death of our Lord
- Our Lady of Guadalupe – patronnes of the unborn. In this apparition alone does she appear in the manner of a pregnant mother
- Your Child(ren) – Draw close to your little one(s) through prayer as you pray through the power of the communion of saints